About me
What changed? One day I simply took control of my future; I didn’t realise at the time that was what I was doing, however I can remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, and could even work out the date if I had to when this epiphany came to me. Suddenly plans for the future came cascading into my mind; I needed to retrain, we needed to make the move to Australia we had talked about, I needed to leave the corporate world, I needed to be in charge of my destiny.
I started to have feelings of joy around this time from the most basic of things, and then the penny dropped, joy is all around us, I had just been too blinkered for too long in thinking the key to happiness lay with others and not myself. I won’t say that I got from A to B without any bumps in the road, or without taking the odd detour, plans evolve right?
Why did it change? Around this time I realised that I had spent much of my life resenting and blaming my past for how my future had turned out. I didn’t have a good job because my parents didn’t support me to go to university, I hadn’t got on in life due to chronic illness, I didn’t have a really comfortable lifestyle as my ex-husband gambled and took drugs losing our money, I had a boring and empty life as I was childness not by choice; I could go on listing the reasons I wasn’t happy, but you get the picture, and perhaps some of this strikes a chord with you. I then got frustrated with myself that I’d spent so long being unhappy, so spent some more time regretting this and berating myself, making me more unhappy and wasting more valuable time; hmm, reading that now I can laugh at myself, but I could only find anger and bitterness at the time. My life today is proof that taking charge of my own future and happiness was the key to where I am now. I haven't forgotten those I have lost, I haven't removed the past experiences from my history, I have simply found ways to manage these feelings, and accept these are part of my history, the history that makes me who I am today.
The "F" word. Finding forgiveness for myself and for those I considered had wronged me was a big part of moving forwards. Forgiveness you might think? Never! Yes it takes work, but I honestly don’t believe I was truly happy until I found forgiveness. Suddenly a weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I felt relief; yes, I was surprised by this too, but then the journey to our best life is one of self-discovery and surprises.
Where am I today? I am living with the two special boys in my life, one Gorgeous George our Scottish Fold cat, who we don’t know how we ever lived without. We are in the process of establishing our future, with the Australia move imminent, and all the excitement for the future that holds. I am also working with clients to accompany them on their own personal journey; my dream job. I believe that we have an obligation to live our best life for the rest of our lives, so let’s start that today.
Who am I? I am a mature lady who has experienced life's rich tapestry, and finally become the director of my own screen play. I am a normal person just like you, who has been sad, anxious, angry and a whole tumult of emotions, with a bit of what I identified as happiness throw in here and there. I have lived a life that hasn’t always been fulfilling, and have had my fair share of unhappiness, lack of direction and experienced a number of life experiences leading to feelings of grief. This includes chronic illness since my late teens, loss of relationships, loss of close family members and friends, and living a life without the children I expected to have. None of us has any desire to join the grief club, but unfortunately membership comes to us all at some stage of our lives whether we like it or not.
If you are like I was, you may be waiting around for the world to change. Well let me tell you a secret, you are the one who dictates change by taking control of your life. I was convinced I would be happier if we had more money, if we lived in a different house, if we won the lottery, if I had a different job, if my parents had been more supportive, if if if………. I was waiting for the miracle to happen to make me happy, I was certain that I would bump right into it one day, and guess what? I spent many years in anticipation.
